she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
