this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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