whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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