Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
