hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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