were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
