Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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