What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I have demons in me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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