SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
