The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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