I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
