Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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