I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
