eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
