We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
