I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
