I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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