its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize