he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
