I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
