Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
