I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
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Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
A bitchslap is in order.
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