How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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