They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
