I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize