fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
