we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
