Can i not drive my cunt home
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
