I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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