Small penises have feelings too.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wish i was in the wii world.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
