A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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