He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
