I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
