someone get that fucking seahorse.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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