You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
