i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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