this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
