real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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