Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You made out with two different species that night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
