i jhust puked up my retainher.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm both gender and math confused
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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