I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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