One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
