I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
two words: eviction party
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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