you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
