I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Welp...herpes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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