my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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