Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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