i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
