Cold hands, warm shart.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
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I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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