I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The struggles of a small town man whore
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
