you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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