A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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