Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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