One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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