Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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