were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize