this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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