OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
