For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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