I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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