Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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