OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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