She's JV to your varsity
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
