Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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