I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize