HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
