Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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