I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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