And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
