didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
