I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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