Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
