I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
