i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
