I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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