Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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