You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
40s are totally the cure
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
